You know you are over someone when…

November 28, 2007 at 10:12 pm (Uncategorized)

You see them and you think…”What did I ever see in them?”

Love Me xxxxxxx

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Very Interesting Article…

November 26, 2007 at 1:25 am (Uncategorized)

Friends, foes and Facebook

Dan Kaufman
November 26, 2007

This is the tale of one man’s nervous foray into social networking.

Innocently thinking it was an online dating agency in disguise, I optimistically joined Facebook in the hope that desperate women would soon be knocking on my door. Fast forward four months, however, and my life is still devoid of vamps and vixens – but I can count almost 40 friends.

At least, they claim to be my friends but, on social networking sites such as Facebook, Friendster and MySpace, you never can tell. After all, some of my so-called friends barely know me (I didn’t even recognise two of them by their photos) or avoid me in real life. I even agreed to be one person’s friend because he’s so psychotic I was scared of what would happen if I said no. As the old adage goes, with friends like these who needs enemies?

As in most social networking sites (see box for the lowdown on the most common ones), once you sign up a friend their photo appears on your profile, meaning the more friends you have the more popular you seem. This has led to accusations that these sites are little more than popularity contests. For example, Urban Dictionary’s primary definition of MySpace is that it is “the ultimate game of testing your ego”. Facebook users can install applications such as The Number and Friend Rank that calculates their popularity in comparison with others. I would have installed them myself but my ego is low enough as it is.

For those not familiar, online social networks allow you to post photos of yourself as well as information such as age, sex, where you live, what you do, how you’re currently feeling and so forth. They all have their own quirks: whereas MySpace is popular with musicians who want to put their music online, Facebook is more about interacting with others by sending messages and giving fake gifts such as digital cocktails.

There can also be socio-economic distinctions. Dana Boyd, a sociologist at the University of California, says that Facebook attracts more preppy and well-off people while MySpace lures those more likely to be ostracised by society. I suspect I chose the wrong network.

Most social networks also let you search for people with specific qualities, such as having gone to the same school or worked at the same company as you and, since you can also search for single people, they’ve often been criticised for being perfect for stalkers. On Facebook you can not only track someone down but then find out what they’re doing via their status messages, even if it’s just having a shower – leading some to dub it Stalkbook.

Provided someone becomes your friend you also receive updates on the minutiae of their lives thanks to the constantly updated news feed, a feature which some find unnerving. For example, if you search Facebook’s online communities using the word “stalk” or “privacy” you will come across hundreds of groups with names such as “Facebook feed has just killed privacy”.

“I think it’s a little creepy,” says Theo Chapman, a recent Facebook user. “I didn’t realise I would get updates about my friends’ activities on the system. It’s all a bit 1984 … is the next step to publicly denounce people?”

The growing backlash against social networking has seen the rise of parody sites and Facebook applications such as Snubster, Hatebook (which has a section in users’ profiles called “Why I’m Better Than You!”) and Enemybook. Personally, if I were to create a parody I’d call it Fakebook.

The creator of Enemybook, Kevin Matulef, calls his site a satire of social networks and online relationships in general. “People are definitely frustrated with the proliferation of ‘online friends’ that they hardly see, communicate with, or even know,” Matulef says. “But I think the frustration runs deeper than that. It’s really the whole idea of having to define yourself via your favourite movies, TV shows, how many friends you have etc. It all adds up to a very superficial representation of you and your relationships.”

Then again, you don’t have to be listed as someone’s nemesis on Snubster or Hatebook in order to feel slighted – you just need an ex to send you a link to their profile so you can read about their fabulous new life without you. I’ve learnt from experience that this happens and I’m far from the only one – the internet has scores of angry and upset blog posts detailing similar incidents. Whereas in the real world we don’t always bump into our exes, online it can be hard to avoid them – even while writing this, for example, a friend had an ex-boyfriend send her a friend request, leading her to obsessively pore over his profile.

“I’m already jealous of other girls on his site and have decided to avoid further interaction,” she says.

It can get worse, however, as some people are actually dumped via Facebook – one pitiful blog entry describes how a poor fellow only found out his relationship was over when he noticed his girlfriend had changed her profile status to single.

A more gentle form of rejection, or at least of neglect, is finding out that your friends like other people more than you. Just finding out that you are not ranked in a friend’s Top 8 list of close buddies on MySpace can do it, whereas being notified of all the imitation drinks and gifts that everyone else except you is receiving on Facebook will have a similar effect. After all, it’s one thing for someone not to include you in a round at the pub but when they won’t even send you a free fake beer you know you’re low on their social pecking order.

Social networks can also be the perfect gauche tool to show off your culture and success. Once upon a time you’d have a dinner party and take out your finest china and antiques, a la Hyacinth Bucket from TV’s Keeping Up Appearances. Now you can tell everyone about what highbrow books you are reading by putting them on your virtual bookshelf, list all the eclectic bands that you like and post a picture of some art on your profile to look cultured. I know I did.

One thing social networks do very well is make it easy to keep in touch with people. If you’re travelling overseas, for example, you now only have to update your profile rather than email people or, heaven forbid, send postcards. A friend of mine recently took this method of communication further by becoming engaged – and only telling her friends about it by updating her profile status.

Whether this communication is as valued or meaningful as a face-to-face or telephone conversation, however, is another matter. Furthermore, if you don’t care enough about someone to want to meet up with them, then is that relationship even worth maintaining? There’s a reason why people drift away from each other.

It’s this lack of anything in common with people that might explain the popularity of Facebook’s most famous feature, the poke. To lower the level of articulation even further, this non-verbal communique simply registers on the other person’s computer by telling them you poked them – and that’s it. This makes it excellent for acknowledging that your friends are still alive even when you can’t be bothered actually speaking to them. The more evolved can also Super Poke people, which allows you to perform (or at least say that you performed) far more sophisticated functions such as spanking and, of course, groping.

After all these snide comments you might be wondering why I don’t just leave Facebook and stop complaining. Well, I’ve fantasised about it. Many times. But in the same way that you can’t just join a cult or the Mafia and then walk away, you can’t abandon your Facebook network without offending the legions of people who have asked to be your friend, posted messages on your profile and sent you fake drinks (although I am in short supply of those). Or can you?

I pose the question to Maz Ha
rdy, who runs the Facebook Etiquette blog and is completing a doctoral thesis on the social impact of new social media. I’m hoping she’ll give the same answer as a friend of mine who, having never been on Facebook, simply looked at me oddly and said “What’s wrong with you? Just leave!”

Hardy, however, has a different view. “No,” she says firmly. “The answer is in the question, with the key word being ‘abandon’. You would not expect such social behaviour outside of Facebook, therefore abandoning friends on social networks carries as much social negativity as in ‘real’ life.”

Oh.

Oh dear.

You know, in that case perhaps I should post a more flattering photo of myself on my profile.

Welcome to my expanding network

Facebook might now be more popular than porn (at least according to internet traffic statistics for those aged from 18 to 24) but there are many more social networks out there – in fact, there are more than 100. Here are some of the larger ones:

Bebo (www.bebo.com). More popular in Britain than Australia (at least for now), this looks and acts like a cross between Facebook and MySpace. Originally popular among school and university students, it’s now being increasingly used by bands to promote their music.

Faceparty (www.faceparty.com). Launched in 2000, this is the grand-daddy of social networks. The focus is more on advertising your personal assets and, as with Facebook, you can use it for dating purposes – although FaceParty is somewhat raunchier, allowing you to search even for those with naked pictures on their profile.

Friendster (www.friendster.com). This was the leading social network until MySpace came along, which must rankle the owners since they turned down a $US30 million offer by Google to buy it in 2003.

LinkedIn (www.linkedin.com). This targets corporate types who want to network for business purposes and so lacks the photos of people binge drinking and passing out that is more common on Facebook and MySpace.

Twitter (www.twitter.com). Allowing you to use SMS to update your profile, this is the network for those who truly have 24-hour social network cravings.

Orkut (www.orkut.com). This is Google’s attempt to enter the fray but isn’t considered a resounding success, especially in Australia.

Yahoo 360 (360.yahoo.com). Similar to MySpace but with more photo sharing.

This story was found at: http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2007/11/25/1195962828218.html

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A Break from Cyberspace…

November 21, 2007 at 4:46 pm (Uncategorized)

Last week I cancelled my YouTube , my Facebook , my WordPress , I have tried to cancel my MySpace but to no avail. It will not let me cancel my account.

So I am stuck with MySpace but I am not taking on any friends anymore. I have deleted all that I had on there so if you were one of them I am sorry but I just couldn’t take the bullshit anymore.

I will NOT be cancelling or deleting my Yahoo 360 site so do not fear!!!! I just want to get back to basics. I do not want ten million blogs. Its too much. I can’t remember all my passwords as it is!

Anyway what I have done is open a deviant art site. Which is what I should have done a long time ago.

So if 360 closes down, and doesn’t get actually made into something better. That is where I will be. NOT Mulitply, NOT anywhere else.

It has a Journal so I have put some poetry in there and have added some of my work already. If you would like to have a look it is at –

http://xquizitelizard.deviantart.com/

Enjoy…

Love Me xxxxxx

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Now this did make me laugh…

November 17, 2007 at 8:08 pm (Uncategorized)

Funny Pictures
moar funny pictures

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Do you ever just have those days…

November 17, 2007 at 4:21 pm (Uncategorized)

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When you just feel totally insane?

Well I had one yesterday. I won\’t go into too much detail but I was pissed off, upset, in pain, confused.

Just couldn\’t do anything all day. Lay on the couch curled in a ball, staring into space.

Listening to the Doors, cause their music always makes me feel like fighting or giving up. Strange.

I wanted to yell and scream at somone and I did.

I wanted to let out all the angst that I have bottled up inside me and I did.

You see, generally I am a peaceful, lovely person.

But if you break my heart and/or cause me pain I will give you the hardest time I can.

Not forever, but everytime you stick the knife back into my heart deeper I will fight back.

See I was almost over everything, forgiving the people that hurt me the most when something happened to start it all over again.

So I hurt them where it hurts most, just like they do to me over and over.

Then they wonder why I do what I do. If they would just leave things be it would all be over. But no they have to keep hurting me even when I have accepted everything and settled down.

I feel better today, but I have just had enough.

Love Me xxxxxxxxx

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Okay a little something for those tired of possums…

November 10, 2007 at 7:52 pm (Art, Doodles, Drawing) (, , )

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This is a doodle I did the other night.

I really like this one.

I have a few more I have done recently so will post them every now and then.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.

 

Love Me xxxxx

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More Possum Antics

November 10, 2007 at 2:01 am (Uncategorized)

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Well, I was just telling you about the different possums we have here when at about 12.30pm the other night I heard some scratching.

I was in bed and I thought the noise was in the house. So I got up and had a look around but couldn\’t see anything. My cats weren\’t running amok.

I went back to bed.

Again I heard scratching.

I got up and went to the front door and saw something drop past the window.

I opened up the front door and there on the railing was a Brushtail possum. Much bigger than the Ringtails from the other night.

It was looking right at me and as I talked to it, it tilted its head and took a few steps forward.

I had to go get my camera and take a photo of it.

So here it is. It didn\’t like the flash very much so took off pretty much as soon as I took the first photo.

But it was adorable.

I hope you like it too.

 

Love Me xxxxx

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Possum Antics…

November 2, 2007 at 5:25 pm (Uncategorized)

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The other night I was standing on my front steps talking to my neighbour when two gorgeous Ringtail possums appeared in the tree.

Here is a photo of one of them.

They are so cute.

Now before I start getting messages telling me this isn\’t a possum, it is.

It is an Australian possum NOT an American one.

There is a HUGE difference.

We have a few varieties of possums here in Australia.

The Ringtail is one of them, the another is a Brushtail and there are others.

They are beautiful creatures that manage to live in urban areas despite being hit by cars, electrocuted on overhead wires and attacked by domestic animals.

They can be very noisy when they run across the roof at 4 am or indeed if they make a home in your roof they can be even noisier.

They make a very very strange mating sound like an odd kind of hissing/growl, it used to scare the crap out of me when I was a child.

But now the sounds of the possums at night make me feel secure somehow.

I love possums, they are adorable and I love that they are able to live amongst us in the city.

 

Love Me xxxxxx

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