Why this person means so much to me…

August 12, 2007 at 3:49 am (Uncategorized)

Most of my life has not been difficult. I had a pretty good childhood with loving parents that treated me very well.

After High School I went to Art College and studied Film and Media.

These were very good times, crazy, uninhibited, creative days.

After that I drifted from thing to thing, from man to man, doing artwork whenever I could for whomever I could or just myself.

In 1989 I met my future husband.

No one could have ever prepared me for the next sixteen years of my life with him.

Like a rollercoaster ride but much more dangerous. He was a troubled man, but had a beautiful soul. Which is why I stayed with him for such a long time.

Cut to 2003. We were living with my mother who was 82 at this time.

One morning my husband found her on the floor of her bedroom. She had a stroke.

Then my husbands brother became sick and passed away in Febuary 2004.

After being in hospital for 4 months my mother finally came back to live with us. She had lost her speech and mobility.

In August 2004 my father passed away. He had been in a nursing home for five years and had senile dementia and parkinsons disease.

My husband had a great deal of trouble dealing with all his grief over his brother and began to drink very heavily. By August 2005 he too passed away.

In December of the same year my mothers health began to decline. I was caring for her but had to take her to hospital on New Years Day 2006. She passed away around 2 weeks later.

I was left alone in a house an hour from the city/work and friends.

So I made the decision to leave that house and move back to the city. Life seemed to be getting better.

But in May I discovered a lump in my breast and had to have surgery in June. Thankfully it was not cancer.

I went out with a few men, here and there but nothing ever really worked out.

I was lonely, ever since my mother died my family stopped speaking to me because she left her house to me in her will.

My wonderful neighbour and work colleague, along with her partner and my friends of course had become my family.

But still something was missing from my life. I kept looking but still it elluded me.

Sometimes the best things are right under our nose and we fail to see it until it is too late. We keep searching for something that is already there and we need look no further.

It was just after my birthday in Jan 07 when I had a dream about a boy I knew that worked part time in our campus bookshop. I didn’t know that much about him, except he was sweet and friendly and gave great hugs. Everytime I walked past the bookshop, if we saw each other we waved and if both had time we would have a quick chat.

Anyway, one day I told him about my dream and now the rest is, you could say, history.

He is like the sun on a dark day. He made me feel a way I never thought I would feel again.

Then I found out how talented he was.

He brings so much joy to my life. I lived through so much darkness for so long, I have much to thank him for.

His love and passion for his music is something that is relfected in my love and passion in my artwork.

He has become my family, my inspiration, my love.

So I say thank you to this beautiful person in my life. Thank you Paul.

P.S. I took this photo of him in our backyard a couple of weeks ago. Its playful, just like him.

Love Me xxxxxxxxxxx

P.P.S. It is his birthday on the 14th so I will be taking him away for the night to a special place.



  1. gentleman said,

    hey sweetie,have a great life with his,enjoy your the life,have a fantastic day,be safe,take care,,,hugss…xoxox

  2. Anonymous said,

    The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
    Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they’ll love you back. Don’t expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their heart, but if it doesn’t, be sure it grew in yours.


  3. *Walmie* said,

    you deserve all the happiness in the world. take care sweetheart x

  4. Parolee said,

    Just passing by…You are a very courage and honest woman to be able to tell this kind of personal story.

    Cheers n’ nun bless, Parolee

  5. Bart said,

    Hey Fluffy, you’ve been through so much, I hope you find the peace and happiness you so much deserve, I’m still looking myself. If you ever need anything at all, just ask.

  6. Anonymous said,

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO You By Sparkyofhd

    H is for HIMSELF {TITUS 2:14} Jesus gave HIMSELF on our behalf
    A is for ANYTHING {GEN. 30:31} You shall not give me ANYTHING
    P is for POWER {DEUT. 8:18} The Lord gives you POWER to get wealth
    P is for PEOPLE {EX. 11: 3} The Lord gave the PEOPLE favor
    Y is for YOUR {DEUT. 4:40} That you may prolong YOUR days

    B is for BEHOLD {ECC. 5:18} BEHOLD, enjoy the labor which God gives you
    I is for IS {LUKE 12:48} To whom much IS given, much is required
    R is for REJOICE {PS. 97: 12} REJOICE, give thanks at the remembrance of his Holiness
    T is for THANKS {ROM. 14:6} In honor give THANKS to God
    H is for HONOR {JOHN 17:22} Jesus gave to them the glory and HONOR
    D is for DAILY {MATT. 6:11} Give us this day our DAILY bread
    A is for ATTENTION {TITUS 1:14} Cease to give ATTENTION to Jewish myths and fables
    Y is for YOU {MATT 7:9} If someone YOU love ask for bread, will you give them a stone

    T is for TAKE {EX. 25:2} TAKE an offering from everyone who gives willingly
    O is for OPPRESS {PROV. 22:16} He that OPPRESS the poor and gives to the rich, both will want

    Y is for YOURSELF {PS. 37:4} Delight YOURSELF in the Lord, and He will desires
    O is for OWN {PS. 81:12} God gave them to their OWN hearts last
    U is for UNDERSTANDING {PS. 119:130} Your words give UNDERSTANDING to the simple

    DEUT. 15:10 you shall give freely, the Lord will bless you in all you undertake
    DEUT. 16:17 Give as you are able, according to the blessing of the Lord, He has given you
    PROV.19: 6 Everyone is a friend to them that give gifts
    MATT. 10:8 Freely you receive, freely give
    LUKE 6:38 Give, and (gifts) will be given to you. The measure you give, it will be measured back to you
    1 TIM. 6:17 God provides us with everything for our enjoyment

    But our delight and desires are in the teaching of the Lord
    Yes, we will walk thru the shadow of death for God is with us.

    Surely, goodness and mercy will pursue you
    Protection is in the Lord for all you do
    All of God’s tender mercy is on your lives
    Rejoice for the Lord is great
    Keep on trusting God for the love that reveals Jesus
    Your plans from God are to numerous to count

    Your Special Day
    What a special day this is, and I wish right from the start
    A day that is filled with happiness, and things close to your heart.
    You are a very special person, one that has loved so much.
    As you look around you will find, many lives you have touched.
    You have brightened many days with your, caring thoughtful ways.
    Saw your friends and family through, the very hardest days.
    So now, we have come to celebrate! And I am proud to be a part.
    Because you are a special friend. that is loved with all my heart!
    Happy Birthday!
    Used with permission

    Birthday Blessings
    Instead of counting candles, Or tallying the years,
    Contemplate your blessings, As your birthday nears.
    Consider special people Who love you, and who care,
    And others who’ve enriched your life Just by being there.
    Think about the memories Passing years can never mar,
    Experiences great and small That have made you who you are.
    Another year is a happy gift, So cut your cake, and say,
    “Instead of counting birthdays, I count blessings every day!”
    By Joanna Fuchs

  7. Frank C said,

    It’s been awhile since I’ve been in to catch up. What great news to read. Thank God for dreams.

  8. Anonymous said,

    losing so many so fast is not easy and I am happy that you have been able to find love again, I have lost my mother, I could not imagine losing my father and husband as well. Even sadder is that you lost your family due to a house, and why i can not understand you were living with her and taking care of her for years it makes sense that you would get the home??? Its good to see your smile when you have been through so much and even better that you have someone to smile at. Tell your cutie paul happy birthday!!

  9. Toni A said,

    It’s so rare when you find that special person. I’m happy for you

  10. Anonymous said,

    Congratulations on finding this wonderful man!! I am so happy for you and the kitties.

  11. LifeByLisa said,

    I so sorry to hear of your chain of losses, but it is true that when one door closes another is opened. It is even more true that generally what we are looking for gets lost right in front of us. Lucky for you, you had your eyes and heart open to receive this. Congrats, and Happy Birthday to your friend.

  12. Anonymous said,

    Sorry I am not from your list of friends… I was searching people with great sense of humor @ 360 and the list has your name too… This is my first visit to your page and I have read this first blog of yours and now I am feeling that I know you since many months! LOL Anyways, I am really very happy for you that finally you have someone in life now to keep you happy and smiling always… All your bad days are over it seems so enjoy each and every moment of life!! GOD BLESS YOU. 🙂 HUGS & Take care.

  13. Anonymous said,

    Thanks for the email & catch up.I think he’s gorgeous & in my heart I think it’s time to move forward.You give so much to others, so this is now your time to receive all back.
    By the way have a great week my universal sister.
    Love Mich

  14. Anonymous said,

    wow what a beautiful friend you have my dear. Sorry its been so long. I have not recovered my stolen items from the police yet. I can not wait for the computer so I can email you. Great photography. Your looking so pretty yourself. You look happy. I am so pleased.

  15. Anonymous said,

    You deserve happiness and you two seem to blend together. Wish Paul a happy birthday from me.

  16. ~* Lynn * ~ said,

    I was just up past my bedtime here and wandering around 360 world when I came upon your page. I like it here… very laid back, indeed. 😉
    This blog was very, very touching and straight from the heart, babe. You’re an excellent writer and I just wanted to say that I am happy that you found happiness again. We’re only given this one life to try to get “it” right… I’m tickled to see that you’re doing just that.
    Good luck to you in everything you do, sista!

  17. Curtis said,

    know the feeling well , just lost both my parents in a 10 day span, back in may,me & my brother aren’t talking, I will to get the house,but brother is making it difficult, anyway glad everything seems to be working out for you, and life goes on weather we want it to or not

  18. Truculent Trencherman™ said,

    After all you have been through you really deserve to be happy.

  19. Dee said,

    This must have been a VERY difficult time

  20. Dee said,

    I have run-out of tissues & bog roll=toilet paper

  21. Dee said,

    finding your soul mate as brought you happiness his artistic flare as blown the cobwebs of the past away

  22. Anonymous said,

    Life was anything but easy for you, i am glad you met him once again and i hope all goes well for you. Keep smiling and hugs to you

  23. Anonymous said,

    Destiny finds a way of speaking to you in your dreams—Take care sweetheart, and hope Paul had a great evening with you–He’s a cutie!

  24. allyoop_58 said,

    I lost my mother a few years ago, and like you, my family split up too, of all things over a house (and some other junk)! Sad situation for sure. I’m so happy you’ve found happiness again, you deserve it for sure!! Good luck to ya! My daughter is very artistic & wants to go to an art school also. Web design etc. is what she’s interested in. Any suggestions for her?

  25. Anonymous said,

    Fluffy my friend. I am over joyed to know you and Paul are so happy. You my sweet friend Deserve to have the most wonderful days for ever. I love you my dear friend. Happy belated birthday to Paul. I hope your time away was extra special. Deb.xxx

  26. William J said,

    Wow Fluffybutt!!! I read every word and appreciate you so much for sharing. It is fantastic that that you realized what was right under your nose all the time and it makes me so happy for you. Hoping you guys had a great time on the 14th.

  27. Bowzer said,

    A great story, and you are both lucky people : )

  28. Gerry said,

    Congratulations to you both!

  29. Nasc said,

    Awe I am so happy that you have found that special someone to share your life with, at times it seems impossible but never giving up proves to be well worth the wait. I am so happy for you and your friend may god continue to bless the two of you with happiness as only he can.

  30. carebear said,

    hi im glad you have found someone hold on and be happy i wish him a very happy birthday

  31. Anonymous said,

    Hello… So sad to read about your past life, but, so happy that you have found Paul and are moving forward. I wish you both the very best, lots of hugs and kisses and more love than you think possible to have…….smiles and hugs from Oklahoma

  32. goodmorning said,

    Hello.. I have just known your Blog through the Yahoo and this blog is impressed me a lot. I am a Vietnamese girl, 24 age and I do have some serious troubles in my life when I can not make my dream come true. after read your blog, I fell more optimistic and I hope I can be your friend and contact to you to share something that is not good in the life. Thank you so much.

  33. Brigitte said,

    wow…you’ve been through a lot girl..this just goes to show that there is a God…you went through all that heartache but now you have your love..I’m so happy for you & wish you much more happiness 🙂

  34. Anonymous said,

    Come visit my salon, Madame Cece’s out of Los Angeles California where the political is personal and LOVE is the heart of the matter. Your story is inspirational. I too have dealt with the loss of many loved ones, young and old… I suspect that it’s your karma working itself out.

  35. Anonymous said,

    Wow, what a story. Thank you for sharing it; it offers hope and inspiration to others. Many blessings to you both 🙂

  36. Anonymous said,

    That’s an incredible story. Love sometimes finds you when you least expect it. What an inspiration! It was meant to be.

  37. ♥♥♥ r o s e said,

    wonderful story.. and I am so happy for you you found somebody who fit so perfect… this is rare, wish both of you all happiness and love…

  38. Anonymous said,

    Awesome 2 Hear there is Light at the End of the tunnel! Good for u My Favorite Aussie Bunny!

  39. Anonymous said,

    Although I don’t understand that much about your story because I only know a little English. But I feel that is a moving story. I like it very much. I wish you will have so much joy and happy with my family.
    (I am Vietnamese. I am 22 years old)

  40. Anonymous said,

    Im very sorry to hear about your troubles but happy to know that you finally found someone special. Blessed be.

  41. Anonymous said,

    wonderfull story so happy for you…….

  42. So Long said,

    It is great to hear that someone has and can touch your heart. I am very glad to see that you can and are smiling again. May you enjoy many a sunset with a man with such a great name. May the two of you live long and prosper as a wise man once said. I wish him a happy belated birthday and congratulate him on finding such a wonderful woman.

  43. Anonymous said,

    didnt read all the other comments so sorry if i repeat. first off i want to say thanks for sharing your story. the things you wrote were not easy I am sure. Seems like you have had a hella life my friend. And congrats on the man friend!! He is adorable. First glance at the picture and I thought it was the main guy from Pirates of the Carribean!

  44. Anonymous said,

    good for you my friend! you two have an awesome time for his birthday!!! he looks like a cool dude!

  45. Anonymous said,

    Happy B-day to Paul. Fluffy, this was a beautiful thing to have seen this morning. Thank you for sharing.

  46. standing bear said,

    G-Day Las,sorry for your loss(both of my parents are gone too!)anyhow happy b-lated b-day to my twin lol,as soon as i can get me a new scaner & camera i’ll send ya’ a few pix of me “i’ll let you be the judge” we do favor each other alot!!!!Who said that dreams never come true? Thats What Gives Life More Meanning,I Say Dream On.For what we see in the spirit world can become realality in our lives,And i say yes Dreams really do come true.Paul is a lucky man to have such a sweet down to earth lady in his life,and you to have been blessed to have a careing,loving man in your life.CONGRATS Yo you Both!!! xox”bear”

  47. Anonymous said,

    Well my story is not the same as you but runs sorta close ~~~my story was I was never really happy in my oersnal life except fot my children ~~~years later I married my best friend from when we were teenagers~~~he is so wonderfull and we just enjoy life and cry together over the sad times!! Yes my Aaron is my love we came full circle!! Frist time he kissed me I looked at him and said I am home!! Thanks for sharing great blog

  48. ♂Đ.A.Đ♂ said,

    your story of life is so great.you ‘re so lucky when having ” your love ” beside.wish u happy forever. I’m DUC from VietNam.nice to meet u…

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