A Winter Poem

September 26, 2006 at 2:23 pm (Poetry) ()

A poem I wrote in winter that I really like…

Cinnamon and Ginger

 

A glorious sunny day

But the wind is not so kind

And as the evening comes upon me

I begin to feel the cold creakiness

Of a winter night stirring in my bones

And this night I do not wish to feel the cold

 

Cinnamon, Ginger and Ylang Ylang

It says on this cube that looks like honeycomb

So I listen to a hot waterfall

And fill the bathtub three quarters full

 

I drop the cube into the water

It fizzes and releases a delicious fragrance

My toe is suspended above the steam

With anticipation

I gently ease my cool body under

Submerged, I am transformed

With thoughts of gingerbread and cinnamon toast

 

My muscles relax

My mind is soothed

My body is warmed

 

I lie there

Thinking

I am thankful for having hot water

A bath

A roof over my head

I am thankful for not having war on my doorstep

For having food in my cupboards

And for being who I am

 

The water begins to cool

Forcing my evacuation

What is it about cinnamon and ginger?

Comforting and familiar

Like a hug from someone you love

It doesn’t really matter

I am just glad it exists

 

 

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Tragedy and Love

September 23, 2006 at 11:05 pm (Uncategorized)

What is life all about.

I have had more than my share of tragedy in the last 3 years.  But I am still here, still smiling, still laughing, still enjoying life.

There was a time when life was a struggle and it seemed too hard to go on, but I had two people relying on me for my strength and love.  I put my life on hold to care for the two people I most loved in the world that were ill and coming to the end of their lives. My husband and my mother. Ill at the same time I was living with both of them, they died within 6 months of each other.

I always thought the hardest thing in my life would be to lose my mother, she was strong and proud and an inspiration but most of all she was my friend and I loved her dearly. When she had a stroke in 2003 and lost her speech and some mobility our relationship changed dramatically. No longer could she give me counsel, make me clothes, come shopping with me.

Seeing someone that was so lively and vibrant losing the ability to speak is very difficult, but she was determined to carry on, she was almost 82 at the time of her stroke. She lived until a month after her 84th birthday. By that time she was ill and tired of struggling.

Meanwhile my husband became ill with liver disease brought on by drinking too much. He was a complicated person, a soul that was constanltly in pain and suffering. He was only 39 when he died. He always told me he wouldn’t make 40 and he didn’t by a few weeks.

His brother had died in Febuary of 2004 and that had totally devastated him. In August 2004 my father died after 5 years in a nursing home for dementia. He no longer recognised me and that was very hard to deal with.

In August 2005 my husband died and then in January 2006 my mother died.

So I am starting all over again, alone.

I have two cats I treasure. I do get lost in their little yellow round eyes.

And on sunny days like today, when the sky is blue and the rays of sunlight stream down between the leaves of the trees dappling the ground outside in my garden, everything seems to be beautiful, still.

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Entry for Sep 23rd, 2006

September 22, 2006 at 5:29 pm (Uncategorized)

Why is it so hard for a 43yr old woman to get a date?

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